Hopefully soon…

When are we going to go play at chucky cheese? Hopefully soon, buddy. When are we going to fix the landscaping? Hopefully soon. Are you planning a trip to see us? Hopefully soon.

Hopefully soon, we can plan that trip to Alabama to see family. Hopefully soon, we will plan a date night. Hopefully soon, I’ll get those unpacked boxes out of the office closet. Hopefully soon, I’ll make that…. Hopefully soon, I’ll do this… 

Hopefully soon. Hopefully soon. Hopefully soon. 

Well, it’s just not cutting it. Nothing is getting done, we are going no where and the list is getting longer. We are so busy right now, hopefully soon, we can change that.

And there it is…

As I sit here typing with my glitter dipped nails (shameless Color Street plug). I am still making excuses for the list that I want to check off. Here’s the thing, these are not dreaded tasks or things that I don’t want to do. I enjoy going to see family. Date nights with the hubby are fun. It’s rewarding to have a beautifully landscaped house. I love my hillside of wildflower. So, why don’t they get done? What fills the days? When is hopefully soon?

I have spent a lot of time letting the “this” and “that” of life get in the way of my shine. I piddled on small things. I procrastinate. There is always something to do. There is always somewhere to go. I fail to decide if the something is more important than the hopefully soon.

“Mom, when are your going to color with me.” says the small boy, as I sweep and mop the floors. “Hopefully soon,” I say as he hangs his head an walks upstairs. The floors lead to cleaning the counters. Then, going through mail. Then, making dinner. Before I know it, it’s bedtime and I have a sad little boy because mommy never colored with him. 

Was mopping the floors really more important than coloring with my little guy?

I learned something recently. As my father’s health dwindled, I kept saying I would make it home to see him. Hopefully soon, I’ll have time to get there. My job routed me close to home,so I got to spend a great weekend with him. We got to laugh and talk and make memories. I told him that I would see him at Easter. My hopefully soon would not have happen if not for that work trip. 

2 weeks later, I woke up on Tuesday morning with a very strong urge to drive to Pennsylvania. Maybe next week? We had doctors appointments. My kiddo had his first baseball game of the season. I had a busy week. But, something was telling me to drop it all and go. Hopefully soon might be too late. Now, I know that the something wasn’t the crazy voice inside my head. That something was God. He led me to go and I’m thankful, I listened. 

Flights were through the roof, so I got in my jeep and drove 9 hours to Pennsylvania by myself while the hubby held down the fort at home. I made it home the evening of Friday, March 23rd. I sat by my father’s bed. I got to hug my dad, I got to see him smile, I got to see his amazing, blue eyes. I got to hear him say “Hey Baby.” That was the last time he spoke. 

On Saturday, March 24th, 2019 at 3:02 AM, my father passed away, peacefully, in his sleep with my mother at his side.

If I would have let life’s “busy” cause me to listen to hopefully soon, I would have missed that last hug and that last “Hey Baby.” 

There will be no more hopefully soon because it may never come. I know that I shine a little brighter coloring with my kiddo than mopping the floor. So, choose the things that make you shine, sparkly things are always better. We all need to sparkle.

The world would be a much better place if we let go of “hopefully soon” and a choose the sparkle. Life isn’t full of rainbows and unicorns but we can always throw glitter on top. 

Now to get back to finding my shine, I know that I left it around here some where. And remember friends, in the midst of chaos, sparkle. Don’t let life dull your shine. 

Much Love,

The Manicured Mom

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