I want to scream amphibian.

Reading is a funny thing. Some people love it, some hate it. Some read for pleasure, some for education, some for inspiration and some for…. Wait, this is PG-13, we won’t talk about those people. But, teaching your child to read is a whole different thing.

The small boy is 6 and in kindergarten. He is learning to read. Like people, with their books, for me, this is a love-hate relationship. Let’s be honest, Moms, the same books, over and over and over and over get really boring. I already know that Andy wants a pet spider and way too much about Pete the Cat’s goldfish. But, here we are, reading them, again.

I love to see Riley’s success when that light goes off and he sounds out a new word. He is so proud. I love to read and want him to love it to. That smile, the “I got it” moment is so sweet and it definitely puts a little sparkle in my day.

Now, for the other side, the bad mom side. I want to sound it out for him. The weird little movement of his mouth. The slow sounding out, then the repeating faster and faster until he finally gets it. It’s so frustrating when he struggles with the same word 5 times in 5 pages. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, “The word is amphibian!” I want to wildly flip through the book, pointing and pointing at that word, yelling, “Amphibian, like here and here and HERE!” I don’t, I want him to love reading but I really, really want to.

We share the reading. He reads the little, starter books and I read the longer books. It’s the nighttime routine. Some nights, I can’t wait to pick a special book to read to him and watch his eyes light up. Sprinkle a little sparkle here and there and everywhere. Some nights, ugh. I just can’t. The thought of another dinosaur book makes me want to run for the hills.

And let’s talk about the book you hate. You know that one. The one that just annoys you to no end. Why? Why do they always pick that awful book on the night you already had your running shoe on? It is inevitable. It’s like they know. And then, he puts on that sweet smile and his blue eyes twinkle and he softly says, “Please Mommy, we haven’t read it in forever.” Forever equals about 4 days ago, but forever, none the less.

So there I sit, reading that awful book, again. We are finished. Thank God. And then he looks up at me, puts his hand on my cheek and says, “Thank you Mommy, I love you.” It’s like the glitter cannon explodes, there is sparkle everywhere and I am shining.

I kiss him goodnight, turn out the lights and head down stairs and the guilt sets. Why do I hate that book? I should like it, it’s his favorite. Why do I, sometimes, dread these moments? They are only little for awhile. But, that book on that night…

Tomorrow night, Mommy is picking the book. Where do you find the happy medium? I wish I could be one of those moms that “cherish every moment” but I just can’t. I am not made up that way. I’m just glad I didn’t scream, “It’s amphibian.” So, I’ll consider it a win and cover it with glitter.

I’ll celebrate that today I won and let myself shine. Sometimes, you need to be proud of the little victories and today, that is that there was no screaming about amphibians. So, the next time the amphibians get the best of you, show yourself some grace. Being a mom is hard.

It’s been nice chatting with you. Until the next time, remember, in the midst of chaos, sparkle. Don’t let life dull your shine.

Much love,

The Manicure Mom

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