Being an advocate for men is not a popular path to take. Men are seen as privileged in our society. Men are seen as protector and providers. Men are seen as tough and strong. Men are so much more. Men have emotions and struggles and disadvantages that are unique to them. Men need to be seen. Men need to be heard. Men need support and love and appreciation. Men deserve a voice. Men deserve a safe space. Men matter too.
When ask why I advocate for men, the answer seem so simple to me. Yet, it is so inconceivable to so many that the sex that they perceive as privileged would need advocates. That is all the more reason to advocate for men. Perceived privilege blinds people to the disadvantages faced by men. If people with privilege did not struggles or have disadvantages, then tell me why some of the most successful people in the world have taken their own lives? Because in their privilege, no one looked long enough to see them struggle. No one thought they could. No one realized they needed a voice, an ear or a helping hand. This is the story for so many men.
While the world sees men as privileged, the disadvantages they face are overlooked. Men’s struggles are ignored. Men’s cries for help are dismissed. Men’s voices are are not heard. Men are being silenced. Men are being left behind. How long can the world continue to wear blinders and not see the issues that men face?
How long will they ignore the disproportionately high suicide rates in men?
How long will they ignore the disproportionately high workplace deaths in men?
How long will they ignore the disproportionately high imprisonment rates of men?
How long will they ignore the disproportionately high homelessness in men?
How long will they ignore the disproportionately high rate of murders of men?
Some men are walking away from dating, relationship, marriage and women all together. Some men are walking away from being the protectors of women. Some men are walking away from traditional gestures like opening doors and carrying heavy things. Some men are walking away from standing side-by-side with women to fight for women’s issues. Some men are walking away…
Some men are choosing to fight back. They’re choosing to stand up. They’re choosing to speak loudly. They’re pleading for their voices to be heard. And what happens? They’re called misogynists. Worse yet, they are called dangerous and angry, and they are feared by women. They are considered a danger to society and a danger to women just for speaking out on the disadvantages that they face in society. As they beg for a fraction of the resources given to women, their viewed as monsters. They are asking for the world to see that men are victims too. They just want men to have support too. They just want to be heard.
With society continually ignoring the voices of men, and attempting to silence them at every turn, it’s no wonder they are getting angry. It’s no wonder they are getting loud. Feminists scream and yell and march in the streets about the disadvantages that women face, and that is seen as acceptable. Yet when a man makes a simple tiktok video, he is seen as a danger to society. When do we stop the double standards? When do we hear men speak?
When will men be heard? I’m not sure when this happens, but I know it needs to happen. I’m the mother of a young son. He will grow up to be a man someday. He will grow up to be on the losing side of these statistics. He will grow up with an increased chance of committing suicide, losing his life at work, being murdered, becoming homeless, losing his kids in Family Court, being financially destroyed by divorce, becoming a victim of domestic violence and having nowhere to turn, having his mental health mocked and invalidated. He will grow up to face the struggles of men in a world that does not want to even recognize these struggles exist. As a mother, that scares the living hell out of me.
It is so obvious that so many women and toxic feminists do not see the struggles of men because they don’t want to see them. If, for one moment, they admit that men have disadvantages too, they also have to admit that the fight for women is not the only fight that should be happening. They would have to stand up and take accountability for the wrongs that they have bestowed upon men and work side-by-side to help men. They would no longer be able to be the victim to a society that is against women. The would lose their vicitm status and the benefits of that status.
So, as a woman, a mother, and an egalitarian , I have chosen to advocate for men. I have chosen to advocate for a better future for my son. I have learned to accept the hatred that comes with the path I’ve chosen. I have learned that this path is not always a safe one to choose. I have learned that some will stop at nothing to silence a voice supporting men. I have learned that I must follow my heart and do what I feel is right even when a hell of a lot of people disagree with me. I have learned it will ruin friendships and relationships. I have learned that people will walk out of your life. I am learning that this is a lonely path path that I have choosen. I have learned that this is my path and I have accepted all the shit that comes along with it. This is my choice and this is my fight, my son’s future matters.
To the women that stand beside me in this fight for men, I applaud you. I know what you endure. I know the challenges you face and I am proud to stand with you.
To the men that I support and the men that support me, thank you. Your voice may get silenced, but myself and so many others see you. We hear you. We will stand with you. We will advocate for men. Your voice matters. Your feelings matter. Your struggles matter. You matter. So as we walk this path together, remember one very important thing, in the midst of chaos, sparkle. Don’t let life dull your shine.
The Manicured Mom