Life has a funny way of giving us what we need when we didn’t even know we needed it. Some say that is a coincidence. Some say that is karma coming back. Some say that’s just life. It is so much more. It is God. Every moment of every day, he is weaving the magical quilt of our life. The intricate patterns and fine stitching mesh together the darkest fabrics and the brightest colors into our beautiful masterpiece.
Each seam is sewn with love. Each swatch is picked with careful thought and precision. Each color plays a part in our final beauty. We have to feel each one. We have to touch it. We have to stitch it to the backing. We may not like the color or the design of that piece but it was given to us for a reason. Some are easy and fall into place. Others take extra stitching and you have to tear them out and start again.
God will take us through our darkest moments so that the light is so much better on the other side. He will give us the black to offset the white. He hands us those difficult pieces to show us just how much we can achieve when he is guiding the needle.
When we take it all in, and we look around, we see the depth of the shadows and the shine of the light. We see the beauty in dark places. Together, they have been woven into the beautiful fabric that is our life. The fabric that God has chosen for us.
Some people say, “God will never give you more than you can handle.” I don’t believe that is true. God will let it pile on. He will let you get to your breaking point. He will let you endure pain so unfathomable that you want to give up. Why? Why would a good God do that? Because he wants you to rely on him. He will give you more than you can handle but he will never give you more then he can handle. You just have to be willing to let him. You have to have faith.
Sometimes, it take living in the shadows for someone to see the magic of his grace. He tests your faith to prove to you that he is always there. He is always watching. He is always loving you. He is hope. He is light. He is love.
This last year of my life has been a test. One that I was sure that I was going to fail. I wanted to give up. I wanted to shut down. I wanted to crawl in bed and never leave. The loss has been so immense and the change has been so drastic. When I look back to this time last year, my life is so very different than I could ever imagine. I have lived in my shadows. I have cried. I screamed. I have anguished. And just when I was at my brink, I dropped to my knees and I prayed and I cried and I prayed some more. I ask God for answers. And did it magically get better? No. I had to finish sewing this dark piece into place. This quilt of my life would not be nearly as beautiful without the contrast of the dark and light. But while I sewed, he guided the needle swiftly through the fabric when I could not see.
God can preform miracles but he didn’t preform magic for me. He gave me hope that I would make it through the dark and the next piece would be so much easier. He showed me grace. He forgave my questions. He promised he would never leave me. And with that dark piece, he weaved a little more beauty into my quilt.
So, what will my quilt look like in the end? It is not for me to know. What I do know is that no matter what colors he picks for me, it will be beautiful. How do I know this? Because, it is his work. He is the creator of heaven and earth. If he can do that, he can create beauty in me.
Life may not always give me what I want, but he will give me what I need. It may not always go as I planned but it will always go as he plans. It may not always be sunshine and roses but it will always be my beautifully blessed, messy life. And for this life and his grace, I am thankful. So, in the midst of my chaos, I will sparkle. I won’t let life dull my shine.
The Manicured Mom