They say that you have to lose it all to realize what you really have. Truer words could not be spoken. This has been my last two years. I lost my Dad. I lost my marriage. I split custody of my child so I lost half his life. I got back out in the world.… Continue reading What lies ahead?
Category: Emotional processing
If I could say one last thing…
One of the hardest things to do in life is to move forward when there is no closure to the past. It is like a book that is missing the last few pages. No explanation. No reason. No answers. Just an abrupt end before the story was over. In my heart of hearts, I know… Continue reading If I could say one last thing…
I Found The Words.
Are you tired of hearing from me this week? I have had a lot to work through and I am thankful you have been hear to get me through it. I prayed for the words to tell the small boy he would not be seeing Mr. X and his kids anymore. And my prayers were… Continue reading I Found The Words.
It’s Not Just Me.
I picked the small boy up from his Dad’s house today. I am looking forward to the extra noise in our home. I am excited for another week with him. What I wasn’t expecting was what he said the moment he got in my Jeeps. I ask if he had a good time at his… Continue reading It’s Not Just Me.
I give myself 12 Days.
Today, I should have been snuggled on the couch watching football with my love, enjoying the last moments of my holiday break. Today, I should have been laughing and talking about what the new year had in store for us. Today, I should have been making plans for our kids next weekend. Today, I should… Continue reading I give myself 12 Days.
Goodbye to 2020.
I stayed quiet about the pandemic. Everything that needed to be said was being said. I was focusing on my life, my son, my job and my new relationship. I was investing in my future. I was enjoying the downtime. I was also missing friends and family. I was looking for something or someone to… Continue reading Goodbye to 2020.
When happy finds you.
Life has a way of surprising you. We are in the midst of a pandemic. Life has changed so much in the last few month. I miss parks with my small boy. I miss our Saturday adventures. I miss our trips to the water park. I miss dancing in a bar. I miss going out… Continue reading When happy finds you.
The ladder worked.
It’s hard to dance when you are standing on a wall. I tiptoed up there for quite a while. I have to be honest, that wall blocked the warmth of the sun. Years of trust issues and hurt made my world a dark place. When I finally got the courage to climb that wall, it… Continue reading The ladder worked.
There is something unexplainable.
What happens when the past comes back? Do you ever look at someone and know that your road will not be easy? Baggage. Suitcases full. You know they are there. You know they are loaded and heavy. You know that they will have to be unpacked. You know that it would be easier to keep… Continue reading There is something unexplainable.
I am the girl on the wall.
Forward motion is hard when you are tied to your pasts. It is always there. There are always reminders. There are regrets and resentments and victories and celebration. But, it is always a part of you. The past molded and shaped who I am. It also built walls. Tall, treacherous, sturdy walls. It built a… Continue reading I am the girl on the wall.