The weight of water.

How much does a glass of water weigh? Not very much at all. The more you fill the glass, the heavier it is and the harder it is to keep from spilling over. A glass is like a new relationship. It’s crystal clear and sparkling and light as air. And then, the relationship hits a bump and a tear falls into the glass. If you don’t take the time to fix the issues, it will slowly fill.

And where are you left? Holding a full glass. The little things add up to become big things. And you keep holding on. The longer you hold that glass, the heavier it feels. You can’t put it down. There is no where to sit it. There is no one else that wants to take on the burden.

No one notices your even holding it. So, you keep on holding it. You hope it doesn’t spill over. But your arms are getting tired. The weight of water is unbelievable after a while. It feels so heavy, your arms begin to shake. The glass trembles. Drops begin to spill out and all over you. Someone comes along and cleans up the spill. They, still, fail to see that they are the source of the water in the first place or where it is coming from.

After a while, the weight of water is immense. Finally, your hands grow weak. They shake. You can no longer hold on.

You drop it.

It shatters into a million pieces.

It is damaged beyond repair.

This is what happens when one person tries to carry the burden of the problems in a relationship. One person can not let go of the hurt. They may not be huge things but overtime, the burden becomes too much to bear and you let it drop. Now, the broken glass has their attention. They sweep and they mop and they clean up the mess but they can’t put it back together. Once it is shattered, you will never find all the pieces. You could spend a life time and it would never be the same.

Water is not heavy but it’s weight is undeniable. You have to dump it out. You have to clean the glass and you have to put it away. You have to let go of the problems. You have to forget the hurt. And when you can’t, your partner needs to realize that they need to do it for you or with you. It takes two to carry the weight. It can’t be done alone. And when they don’t see the glass? When they don’t offer to carry it?

Shattered.

I let my glass get too full. I let it get too heavy. I tried to hold on to it for way too long. He didn’t notice that I was juggling it. He didn’t notice how heavy it was. He only noticed when I wavered and spilled a little bit. He didn’t realize that the weight of water was too much for me. He didn’t notice until I dropped it.

The crash was so loud that it startled him. There were pieces everywhere. He tried to clean them up. He tried to put them back together but the glue would not hold and there were pieces missing.

I wish I could have found a different way. I wish I could have found a better why. I think the dish towels were all dirty and the cabinets were locked. I wish I could have dumped it out and put it away before it shattered. I wish we could have done it together.

The weight of water…

I let it go.