Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles, Mourning a Love One

Moving forward.

So much is running through my mind. The time is late and I should be sleeping but the questions keep flying at me. What am I doing? Where am I going? What direction should I take? They say that holidays are a time of reflection. A time to look back on the past year. That… Continue reading Moving forward.

Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles

Punitive Damage.

"A person who trusts no one now, once trusted someone too much" -unknown I read this a few days go while scrolling through Facebook and a truer statement could not have been made. Trust is a tricky thing. You only have so much to give and once your trust is gone, it is hard to… Continue reading Punitive Damage.

Addiction Recovery, Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles

Because of a small boy.

I thought walking away from my marriage was one of the hardest thing I would ever do in my life. I realize, now, that moving on is even harder when you know that you will spend the rest of child's life tied to the person you are walking away from. There is no out. There… Continue reading Because of a small boy.

Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles, Mourning a Love One

What chapter are you on?

Ever read a really good book and want to skip to the end? I am learning that you can't skip chapters. Part of me wants to pretend the last year didn't happen and go right back to before it all started. Not to the circumstances, not to the marriage but, to the person I was.… Continue reading What chapter are you on?

Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles

I have much more important things…

When faced with adversity and the lack of a good answer, a very common response is "I have much, more important things to do." As if your question is not important. In reality, that response usually comes from one of three things, the need to feel better about one's self, the need to feel important… Continue reading I have much more important things…

Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles

Some days I want to scream.

Please, indulge me as I rant! Today, I want to scream profanities at the top of my lungs. I am annoyed, angry and disgusted. Things get under my skin and I can't get them out. I have a tendency to obsess on little stuff. Today is one of those days. I have no tolerance for… Continue reading Some days I want to scream.

Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles

Happy Anniv….oh wait.

Today is a day that I have not look forward to since my separation a month and a half ago. It's my wedding anniversary, but not just any anniversary. The 10 year one. A decade. We made it almost a decade, but we didn't. I couldn't, so I didn't. Today is not a celebration. Today… Continue reading Happy Anniv….oh wait.

Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles

One Month In.

It has been just over a month since my husband moved out and we started sharing custody of our little guy. What a month it has been. I have had some of the best times of my life and some of the hardest moments. The adjustment to this new life is different. It's hard to… Continue reading One Month In.

Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles

A whole week.

My sweet little boy left this morning for an entire week at the beach with his father. A whole week. I know this is the future but I have yet to go 7 days without seeing my child. Only once in his six and half years on earth have I ever been a away from… Continue reading A whole week.

Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles

13 years ago…

13 years ago, today, I went on my first date with my husband at a bar. It was the best first date I had ever been on. 2 years later he proposed and 1 year and a month after that, we were married. We made it nearly 10 years. We made it through 4 homes,… Continue reading 13 years ago…