Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles

I have much more important things…

When faced with adversity and the lack of a good answer, a very common response is “I have much, more important things to do.” As if your question is not important. In reality, that response usually comes from one of three things, the need to feel better about one’s self, the need to feel important or the unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s actions.

Let’s examine this.

You do something you should not have done and someone calls you on it. You have no excuse, you did it because it was what was convenient for you and you did not consider anyone else in the process. There is no explanation for it, so a common response, “Look, it’s not a big deal, I have much more important things to worry about.” This illustrates an unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s actions.

You do something you know will bother someone else, something you said you would never do. It causes a negative response that you know is justified. Internally, you feel bad but can’t change what you did and don’t want the person to think you had ill intentions. You respond, “I did not do this to hurt you, I have more important things to think about.” This illustrates the need to feel better about one’s self.

Someone is pointing out their concerns and you don’t want to respond because you think they are invalid or not your problem. You respond, “I have much more important things to work on.” This illustrates the need to feel important.

I have much more important things… What makes someone else’s things more important than yours? Nothing, except themselves.

At the core, some people are selfish. They will do what they want, when they want with no regard for anyone or anything that may be effected.

The same people that use the “important” statement are also the ones that attempt to belittle you. They attempt to make you feel as if your feelings are not valid. As if your concerns do not deserved to be voiced. How dare you “interrupt their “much more important work” with your little, tiny issue. How dare you inconvenience them with your reaction to there actions. Do they not understands science? For every actions, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Man, I could be Einstein. I have many more important things to do. Just kidding.

The next time someone uses their “important” statement on you. Investigate it a little further. Well, except if it’s your boss, then I would do as they ask. They probably do have more important things to tend to. These scenarios lend themselves more to interpersonal relationships. Friendships. Marriages. Family.

Take a look? Did they apologize? No. Did they attempt to justify? Yes. Did they make excuses? Yes. Did they change the subject? Yes. Did they invalidate your feelings? Yes. Well, know that you have the upper hand. Know that they have no response. Know that they will not admit their faults even when they know they exists. They are too proud or too ashamed or too selfish. So, when someone feels the need to express their “importance” in your life, know that they need to feel better about themselves, they need to feel important or that they are unwilling to take responsibility for their actions. Know that you are better than that.

Someone that is important and has important things to do, would never need to tell you that. You would already know. You would recognize who they are and that what they are doing matters. Don’t let someone else’s self-imposed importance invalidate your feelings. They are not worth it and most of the time, they know they are not worth it, that is why they need to tell you that they have “important things so do.”

Don’t let other peoples “important things” effect your day or your life. You are more important. And remember, in the midst of chaos, sparkle. Don’t let life dull your shine.

Much Love,

The Manicured Mom

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