Emotional processing, Mourning a Love One

Dad, One year ago…

One year ago, today... It seems like a minute... It seems like an eternity... One year ago, today, may have been the hardest thing I have experienced in my life. I lost my hero. I lost beer drinking buddy. I lost my friend. I lost the only man that I knew would never hurt me.… Continue reading Dad, One year ago…

Emotional processing, Mourning a Love One

I’m Still Here.

I sit here, alone, at my kitchen table staring at the old stuffed sheep that the small boy carries from room to room. It is the last day of 2019. This year is ending so differently than I had expected. On this day last year, I was planning trips for my family. I was gearing… Continue reading I’m Still Here.

Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles, Mourning a Love One

Moving forward.

So much is running through my mind. The time is late and I should be sleeping but the questions keep flying at me. What am I doing? Where am I going? What direction should I take? They say that holidays are a time of reflection. A time to look back on the past year. That… Continue reading Moving forward.

Emotional processing, Suicide awareness, Therapy

Who needs therapy?

When my dad was here and he was going through treatments and having tests, I set appointment reminders in my phone to call and follow up. I always put positive reminders. "Call Dad for the Good News." Or "Call to hear Dad's Cancer Free Results." There were times I would forget the set reminder and… Continue reading Who needs therapy?

Emotional processing, Mourning a Love One

Just when you think…

Just when you think you have it all figured out. You think you are ready to move forward, you think you have cried all the tears you can cry, you learn, you are wrong. Bam! Yesterday, I got hit like a ton of bricks. Long car rides have a tendency to get my brain thinking.… Continue reading Just when you think…

Emotional processing, Marriage Struggles, Mourning a Love One

What chapter are you on?

Ever read a really good book and want to skip to the end? I am learning that you can't skip chapters. Part of me wants to pretend the last year didn't happen and go right back to before it all started. Not to the circumstances, not to the marriage but, to the person I was.… Continue reading What chapter are you on?

Emotional processing

When you see the shine.

When you put in the hard work, you reap the rewards. A day spent cleaning rewards me with a shiny home. An afternoon spent washing the Jeep rewards me with a shiny jeep. A few months searching your soul rewards you with a shiny you. It takes work, reflection, support and tears but when you… Continue reading When you see the shine.

Emotional processing, Personal Views

Just 12 days…

My journey has been long. The hill has been steep and the crash has been rough. The last few months of my life have been the hardest I have ever been through. I have cried more tears than I knew my body held. I lost my Dad two and a half months ago and it… Continue reading Just 12 days…

Mourning a Love One, Uncategorized

I miss my dad!

So, for Mother's Day, my husband got me a beautiful Pandora charm in honor of my father. On Mother's Day, I cried. At some point, every day, I cry. Just for a moment, but I do. I miss my Dad. Living four states away, I didn't see him as often as I would like, but… Continue reading I miss my dad!