Emotional processing

I am just a women.

I am just a woman, a mother, trying to make it through this moment. Sometimes, everything is just too much and the crying just starts out of nowhere. No warning. It is a lot for one woman to hold. We hold our children, hold down our careers, hold down the fort, hold our heads high in spite of everything going on around us.

I am just a woman escaping into the restroom at work for just a moment to let go of everything before I have to I hold it all back up, hold it all together. Hold onto all my broken pieces so I can put them back together into something new, something beautiful.

I am just a women searching for the strength to keep moving forward in all of this exhausting and miraculous change. So much, all at once and it’s coming so fast.

I am just a women making the most of the Saturday morning snuggles with my small boy. Holding on so tightly, so the moments don’t escape me because the years are too short and next week he will be with Daddy.

I am just a women struggling to remember the lunch box in the fridge as I rush out the door to the bus stop. We made it, just on time, but we made it.

I am just a women doing the best I can with the cards I have been dealt. I am grieving my father. I am grieving my marriage. I am grieving missing half the small boy’s life. I am trying to be the best mom I can be. I am working full time. I am running a side business. I am tired.

I am just a women trying to figure out how it all gets done. The dishes, the laundry, the mopping, the yard work, the bills. The football practices and school functions and doctors appointments. When and where and how is there time?

I am just a women and I see all of you in your struggles, in your achievements, in your beautiful mess. I see your worry and chaos and I see your sparkle.

I am just a women and I want you to know that you are never alone. You are loved. You are prayed for. You are thought of often. You are inspiring.

I am just a women making my way in this crazy world and that is enough. I am enough and I want you to know, so are you. You are enough.

I am just a women that has cried more tears that I can count and I have learned, it’s okay to let go. If you need to let go of everything for a moment and let the tears flow in a restroom at work, like I did today, do it. I promise, you will feel better. It will be okay.

Now, dry your tears and raise your head high and go be just a women and hold down your fort, hold your children and hold down your job. Hold on to you. You can handle it and when you can’t, I’ll have your back.

I am just a women and I want you to remember, in the midst of chaos, sparkle. Don’t let life dull your shine.

Much Love,

The Manicured Mom

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